so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
