don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I am one with the molecules
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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