things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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