there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
