Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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