Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
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