Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize