i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
