guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
