you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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