do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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