Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
