I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
