he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
