I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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