Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
