Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
