new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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