By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.