I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it