she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box