I think I am morally bankrupt
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
