i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
