kristin has been a bad kristin
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
