I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
