Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize