i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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