My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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