i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
only you would photoshop your dick
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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