just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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