i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
3 2 1 whiskey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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