Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
last night I used snow as a chaser
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
