So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
