Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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