i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
