I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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