It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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