remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So much Jack, so little girl.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
