what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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