pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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