just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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