dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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