I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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