If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
