Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
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Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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