He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
