I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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