he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize