I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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