A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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