I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Still dying that you shit outside
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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