the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
