My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
