Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
