Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
