Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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