Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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