I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
