Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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