That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
