Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
