My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize