3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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