Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
