She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
