Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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